It’s been a rough week, between a mysterious eye swell that has me almost wearing an eye patch like a pirate, a broken left foot, a video of a snowstorm on the mountain I am supposedly conquering on Wednesday (with said broken foot) and a computer attacked by a virus. It got me to thinking, that maybe, just maybe it was time to get a “real job”. I say “real” because at times a) people think my job is not real and b) sometimes I feel as though it’s not real, like those times when my editors don’t pay me for months on end. But getting a real job means giving up on my dream, the one I’ve had for a very long time.
I tossed and turned every night this week, thinking about what I might want to do if I didn’t do the job I do. I thought maybe I could become a craft beer sales rep because hey I love beer and I think I know enough to sell it. Turns out I am totally unqualified to be a beer sales rep because I can write about it. Who knew? Then I thought maybe I could work in the non-profit sector, doing something with women in need or children with disabilities, I always imagined that would be such a rewarding job. Turns out I am not qualified for that either, not even in the slightest. The more I thought about it the more I realized I am not really qualified for anything anymore, other than being a travel and beer writer. It’s been almost four years since I have held a “real job” where I was actually responsible for spreadsheets and staff and budgets. To be honest, I can’t even remember how I did all that.
As I got more and more discouraged realizing that the options of a different career were few and far between, I came to realize one thing, I really didn’t want a new job. I LOVE being a writer. I LOVE meeting new people, traveling to new places, finding the special moments in what I thought was an ordinary day and I LOVE sharing that with other people. Sure I sometimes don’t get paid for a month or two and sometimes I pitch 20 different outlets and get 20 rejections. And hey sometimes I do want to quit, go back to a job where I have to dress up, where I actually have to wake up before 9am. But then I realized something, everyone feels like quitting sometimes.
I awoke this morning to an email inviting me to the Yukon in July for work and it occurred to me that the universe must not be ready for me to give up on my dream job quite yet.